


no more hiding

by hopalong2



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-08 15:02:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16431683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopalong2/pseuds/hopalong2
Summary: I don't own anything purely fanfic





	1. no more hiding

"Sam you got a minute?" Daniel asked peering over his glasses. "Sure whats up Daniel?" She said. "Um I need you to come look at something " he led her to the observation room above the gym that was used for self defense classes. Jack was below....beating the hell out of the big bag. He'll go from here to the track then the pool, he's done this since.....um " he looked down unable to finish. "Since General Hammond died...." Sam finished in a pained whisper. "Daniel go take care of the security cameras please" he nodded and kissed her cheek before heading out the door. She headed down to the track and watched as he pushed and pushed and pushed harder. "JACK!!!" she yelled but he didn't even slow down. She moved into his path and he grabbed the railing and used his momentum to launch himself over and down into the pool. "Oh my god" she said to herself. She watched him surface and was relieved and pissed...so pissed she hoisted herself up and over the railing splashing into the deep end below. Once she oriented what was up and down she surfaced. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING CARTER?" " WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING JACK?" "YOU DON'T FUCKING QUESTION ME!!! EVER!!! I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MY ACTIONS TO ANYONE!!! He stopped and looked at her, he wanted to say something instead he dunked down and started swimming. He was hurting she knew that and prolly a little scared because Hammond's death was sudden and now jack was commander of Cheyenne mountain. She watched his back and forth movement until suddenly he changed direction towards her he slowed and grabbed her crushing her to him with such force she almost went under. She wrapped one arm around him and quickly headed for the shallows. Once she could touch she wrapped him in her arms. He shook, his lower body floated lifeless. He had nothing left, he'd been strong so long for so many he literally had nothing left in him. As if he suddenly realized what he was doing he tried to pull away. "God I'm sorry Sam" she held tight "there's nothing to be sorry for, I'm here for you" he jerked away "NO! that's not how it works I'm here for you I'm strong for you I'm not weak in front of you, ever." She grabbed him and held on " even you're allowed to be human Jonathan O'Neill. He was a father to us, now he's gone, for Christ Sake you're allowed to be human." He tried to pull away again to hide but she wouldn't have it. "No! I love you and I'm here be human let it out" he struggled briefly then wrapped his arms tightly around her and quietly sobbed. She held him. She didn't sush him or say it's gonna be ok she just let him be the man she loved his just lost his dear friend and mentor.

Tbc


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

He started to settle, "wanna go under" she whispered in his ear. He nodded and she turned him in her arms "breath" she instructed and when he inhaled she let them fall beneath the surface. He rubbed his face and she slowly returned them topside. He moved to leave her embrace but she tightened it. " No, rest. Lie back and rest I've got you." He froze for a minute then gave in, he liked where he was. He stared at the ceiling his arms and legs floating carefree. "I love you too Sam" he whispered. She tightened her hold and kissed his hair. " I'm so tired of pretending I don't love you with everything I have in me" she told him tears streaming down her cheeks. He reached his hand back and cupped her cheek. "So am I."  
He turned in her arms " so let's stop pretending ok?" She looked at him wide eyed "really?" He nodded "really" " but what about... He stopped her with a soft kiss "don't think about that, not tonight, tonight let's just feel ok? Please please can we do that Sam? She nodded and smiled softly.  
He leaned forward and captured her lips in the most sensual passionate kiss she'd ever experienced. She opened her mouth to him as he explored her she explored him. She brought her legs up to wrap around his waist, her arms around his neck holding him close. He was slowly backing them against the side to help steady her while he undressed her. He pulled away and looked at her "aren't you wearing an awful lot to be in here?" She gave him the "seriously" look " well you didnt give me much choice there." He looked down as if remembering " I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that." She shook her head and caressed his cheek pulling him to her lips. Daniel had excused the guard and stood watching the monitor. When they pulled in for a kiss he switched the feed to loop and ejected the tape then paused momentarily and smiled. He looked up "they finally did it general" he took the tape and walked out. Jack and Sam meanwhile were holding each other like the other would disappear if they let go. Their mouths glued to each other. It was frantic yet soft and sensual. He pulled her T-shirt off and pulled back slightly to gaze at her. Her white bra was soaking wet and he could see thru it. " My god" he breathed out leaning towards her. She was surprised when he laid his head on her chest and held her tightly. He started to shake again. "God I'm sorry I'm such a mess and this is just unbelievable. I don't deserve you." Her heart broke, she had to know even if it broke the mood. "Why would you think that jack? Why?" She let him settle for a minute then gently turned his face to her "why?" " I'm scared, you and Daniel and Tealc are all I have left. I can't bear to think of anything happening to any of you but anytime I get close to anything it is taken, leaves, is destroyed, killed..."she stopped him by pulling him into a comforting sweet kiss. "Stop" she said "please baby, you can't live like this....WE can't live in fear that's not living. You know as well as I do there are no guarantees we just all have to get thru the best way we can together just like we always have..... right?" He nodded and pulled her tight against him. She felt him pull her away from the wall and decided to enjoy it letting her body move with the ripples of the water finally allowing herself to release control and sink up to her face. He found he loved watching her let go like that. The complete bliss on her face brought calm to his.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

He moved her thru the depths. When she felt them over the deep end where he couldn't touch she dunked her head and came up quickly then used her stomach muscles to propel her forward grabbing around his neck pressing her lips to his. He couldn't do anything but kiss her back. She smiled when he started swimming furiously to the shallows, the side whatever. She could feel him poking her. She smiled again and started grinding against him. His foot touched the bottom and grabbed her hips pulling her back and ripping her pants down. She pulled his down too and rewrapped herself around him. He pulled back and locked his eyes with hers. He kept her stare while he entered her slowly very slowly. She tried to move, tried to close her eyes he wouldn't let her. "Samantha we've waited so long for this please don't turn away from me" she complied wincing at his size. He completely filled her and held himself still trembling and waited for her. She gasped loudly "move jack, take me" he crushed his lips to hers and withdrew then thrust hard pushing her against the wall. The water sloshed all around them. "Turn around" sam said breathlessly, "turn around." He spun them using the wall to hold him while pulling her hips against him roughly. She let go of his neck relaxing her muscles and laying in the water. As she relaxed he slipped further inside her "oh god Jesus" he yelled, she arched and relaxed down again riding the waves of water the motion was causing. "God Sam so close so aaaggghhh!!!! His climax triggered hers she arched and screamed their hips lifting out of the water. He grabbed her and held on while he emptied himself into her. She moaned deeply at the sensation. They both were experiencing aftershocks. Jack was trying to regulate his breathing so was Sam. It wasn't working, he briefly thought "great, we're gonna pass out and that's how we're gonna be found naked in the training pool. Oh shit!". He pulled her to him and captured her lips. They broke briefly, "dive" he whispered, she nodded. Hre grabbed her limp body to him and dove. They touched the bottom he pulled her face to his, she nodded. And slowly they headed towards the surface. They broke thru with a start sucking air into their lungs. He tried to talk... " Next time....we...do that... with out...the drown...ing part." She laughed " I liked it" he shot up and looked at her shaking his head "you really are gonna kill me."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

They finally dragged themselves from the pool and into the locker room. After dressing Sam opened the door and he was waiting. "I was thinking um... I um.... don't wanna be alone" she smiled, " I wasn't planning on leaving you" he gave her a small smile and a nod too caught off guard to speak and led her to the surface. They stopped at her house. The General's service was the next day and she needed her uniform and essentials. When she returned to the truck he was sitting In the passenger seat. "Oh boy" she said to herself and went to the driver's side. His head hung low, his sleeve was damp from his face. She put her hand on his and he tightened around it. Wordlessly she started the truck and headed towards his house. She flipped his cell open and dialed a pizza place on the way. She stopped, hopped out and grabbed it. When she pulled into his driveway she got out and started to collect her things when suddenly hee turned and embraced her. "Thank you" he whispered in her ear then she heard his quiet sobs. Her heart broke for him. He tore away and walked shakily to his front porch plopping on the swing. She followed him. "I'm pathetic" she turned and smacked the back of his head, he jumped "what was that for?" " I'm trying to knock the idea that you have to be superhuman at all times out of your brain. I don't know how or why you think this but it's ridiculous so you tell me do I need to hit you again? Somewhere else maybe?" He scooted away " don't touch me woman!" She smiled forcing a small smile from him.  
He turned away from her. "Just when the pain eases I hear something, see something, feel something and it's back stronger than ever. I cant....I can't... just". "You just can't control it" she said flatly. " Jack O'Neill is always in control, except over grief, no one controls grief." "Don't fight it you won't win, this time you have to feel" He looked at her " I don't want to" he choked out while stifling a sob. She embraced him "I know baby I know there's just no other way.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

She woke late that night when she reached out and found an empty bed. "Jack?" No answer she got up and walked thru the house "jack?" Still nothing. She looked out the window and saw him sitting between the house and the lake. She opened the door. He heard but didn't flinch. She walked towards him and stopped cold. His handgun lay on the table under his hand. Oh god she thought "NOOOO" she screamed falling to her knees. "WHAT??!??!" jack yelled jumping up in the air and looking at her. She stared at him in disbelief almost hyperventilating. " YOU....YOU...YOU DAMN YOU!!!! She gulped air trying to fill her lungs. She sprang to her feet charging him she grabbed the gun from him before he could move and she took off running down the dock. "SAMANTHA WHAT THE HELL? SAMANTHA STOP!!!" She didn't stop she couldn't see thru her tears but didn't find stop. He chased her but she didn't care. She ran to the waters edge and threw the gun as hard as she could. Jack stopped almost on top of her " SAMANTHA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?" She turned in him enraged " DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING DID TO ME DO YOU??? OR DONT YOU CARE??? She bent at the waist sobbing loudly. He moved closer to her but when he touched her she jerked away so violently that she was propelled forward into the water. He ran to the edge and dove. He found her a few feet from where she entered flailing like she didn't know up from down he grabbed under her arms and went to move towards the surface when she pulled him down fighting him he was taken totally by surprise but reached out again grabbing one arm and forcefully propelling up, she was trying everything to get away the whole time. They broke the surface he held his death grip on her arm. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING SAM? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?" " WHY NOT YOU ARE!!!! he stared at her. "WHAT THE HELL WAS LAST NIGHT JACK HUH? ONE LAST FUCK BEFORE SIGNING OFF? HAD TO KNOW IF I WAS ANY GOOD BEFORE YOU LEFT? WHAT??!!?? "You helped me decide not to do it..." Well glad I could provide a service SIR will there be anything else?" He pulled her into a hug " please don't do this please God please I love you so much Samantha." She twisted out of his grasp and stared at him sobbing so hard she started to wretch. He lunged to her grabbing her waist loosely as her body spasmed it's meager contents. He moved her away and held her while she dunked her head beneath the surface and popped back up scrubbing her face. "Are you alright?" She looked right at him "no SIR I'm not" she broke free of his grip and headed to shore. Damn, he whispered to himself and followed her. She was so weakened that she fell walking back to the house he ran to her but she was up and off into the house. She walked as fast as her wobbly legs would carry her storming into the house and into the guest bedroom slamming the door behind her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

He stopped at the closed door and heard her strangled cries. Tomorrow was Hammond's memorial, he and Sam were in pieces he got angry. "NO DAMNIT" he stormed out of the house and started down the dock at a dead run. He flew off never slowing down. She watched out her window as he surfaced almost to the float, half a mile away..jesus, she whispered. He started swimming as hard as he could flip turning when he hit the dock or the float. She lost count of his laps thru her tears when she saw him flip again going under and the water fell silent. She got up and moved to the door then the porch still nothing. She was about to walk out into the dock when he surfaced gasping for air and lying on his back. Suddenly she heard " are you ok?" She looked at him floating before her eyes closed but heart open. " Are you?" She returned. He didn't answer. "I love you jack, I don't know what to do to make you believe me. I wish you'd talk to me." She trailed off walking back towards the house. "He let himself sink once again and berated himself for thee idiot he was. He surfaced swam to the dock and pulled himself up. Slowly he made his way thru the house, his knees protesting such a strenuous day. He stopped at her closed door. Thought then thought again heading to his own room. He stopped in the doorway when his eyes fell on her in his bed facing away from him but nonetheless there. He pulled off his boxers and put on a dry pair

He stared at the ceiling, she stared at the wall. Finally he exhaled and whispered "I believe you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

The next day was beautiful not a cloud in the sky. The service was respectful, and very dignified. Jack was quiet the whole day being polite to others, respectful to superiors though not many were higher than him.   
At the impromptu wake at his house he slipped out the back door unnoticed by everyone except SG1. They had become accustomed over the years to checking each other's location periodically even when on earth.  
Jack walked to the edge of his dock and looked towards the heavens finally letting his tears fall for his commander, his protector, his dear friend.  
Sam approached him cautiously knowing that startling the man never ended well. She threw her arms around him. Screw the rules, she didn't care. Daniel wrapped around them and Tealc stood by in stoic support. They finally broke apart wiping eyes and noses.  
"O'Neill I believe a "stress release" as you say is in order" Jack looked at him with a small smirk. Then he looked at Sam and Daniel who caught in too late. Jack grabbed both of them and jumped off into the lake fully clothed. Sam and Daniel surfaced gasping not believing what just happened. Jack laid on his back and stared at the sky. "Godspeed Skipper" he said then proceeded to drench the others in a impromptu water fight.  
They were gonna be alright...


End file.
